When Haih Khun Maak approach the front door, there would be a gate by the front door, the gate is made out of a belt with vintage graphic designs. This is made out of silver, gold or nark, held at each end to block the front door, to prevent the groom from entering. In order for the groom to pass this gate, he has to answer several rhetorical questions, as if theyve never met before, questions such as Who are you? Who are your parents? Why have you come here? Are you here in good terms and will you be nice to us? and there might be more just to spice up the events. The groom then politely answers all questions to show respect, and if the brides friends and family are happy with his answers, he then has to pay money to enter the gate. At that time, his feet must be sprinkled with flowered holy water by a young female family member, this is done to clean and bless him before he gets married.
Once entering the front door, he is then greeted by a respectable elder that has had a long, successful marriage and a role model for the community to take him to his place at the two Phakhuanes, which are used for a wedding ceremonies called Sou Khuane. The two Phakhuanes are made from fresh banana leaves (can use green decorated color paper to substitute), cut and folded into cone shape, and decorated with fresh flowers, silk flowers, or plastic flowers. The bride, both sitting in front of the two Phakhuanes, then joins him then the wedding ceremony of Sou Khuane begins.
The white thread thats connecting the two Phakhuane, and give one end to the groom and the other to the bride while holding it in the palm of their hands in a Wai position, which is the upside down Y shape. The monk or officiant then does the honor of tying the white blessing stings on the couples wrists called Phook Ken. After he finishes, then everyone joins in to tie the couples wrists and whilst doing so, they would also give blessing to the couple. It does not matter what language you use to give blessing and advise as long as it comes from the heart, the message will be heard. Some people would roll up money and tie it on the white string, to give as a gift for the couple to start their lives together. The symbolic of sting tying is for good luck and a blessing to the couple, two spirits joining as one is a big transition for both bride and groom, and this closes the buddhist wedding ceremony of Sou Khuane, the couple then joyfully start their new lives together.
The bride and groom are the first to dance on the dance floor, often in the style of Lamvong where the couple would dance in a traditional style to open the dance floor. After their first dance, the couple would then Wai the audience as an invitation to all, and then the dance floor is open to everyone. The more family and friends who join, the better and longer the marriage will be.
There will be two trees made out of paper and flowers which represent each family. The trees will be adorrned with white string from the temple. Each string will be held by the respective family members. Grooms family will hold string from the groom's tree and vice versa. They will be connected by string in the center and branch off to the bride and groom. This is a symbolic "joining of the family trees". The ceremony will consist of prayer, blessings and chanting from the buddhist monks, respected family and friends.
The Lao traditional wedding ceremony has been around for generations and very important for younger generations to pass down, if not like anything else, the Lao tradition will die out. The marriage is taken seriously by the Lao community and all parties involved, and its regarded as a lifelong commitment made by the couple. In the eyes of the Buddhist religion, the marriage is recognized and sacred, but the wedding ceremony need not be conducted in the presence of monks and is usually performed at the brides home.
Weve heard of the Buddhist wedding ceremony which made us to believe that the monk would perform the ceremony, but in reality the monk doesnt perform the Lao wedding ceremony, and if the monks were present at the Lao traditional wedding, they are not directly involved but more so as to Tum Boun Tak Badth (blessing and morning Alms); if theyre invited, Ni Mon, which weve often seen at a Lao traditional wedding, there always should be an odd number such as 3, 5, 7 and the maximum could be 9 monks for good luck.
Theres much excitement in the air on the day of the wedding. The groom, accompanied by friends and family would Haih Khun Maak, a parade from his house to the brides home, in a very festive manner with singing and dancing along the way. Its not as convenient to do so in the US, but to mimic back home, often times, the grooms side would gather near the brides home and Haih Khun Maak,
Eagerly awaiting on the brides side, they could see Haih Khun Maak, leading the group is the groom who is dressed in his traditional silk outfit. He carries a bouquet of flowers and lit candle, and someone would help to carry an umbrella over his head, oftentimes its his best friend or the best man. As Haih Khun Maak is approaching, theres a lot of nervousness and excitement for the bride, she has to stay in her room until being called out to join the ceremony. Theres no denying that she is the luckiest and the most beautiful girl at the moment. Her costume is made of beautiful colors and sophisticated patterns, silk top, ceremonial sash, and sinh (a traditional skirt/tubular skirt). Her hair is tied up into a bun and decorated with traditional style jewelry.
- The ceremony begins at 11am at the Davis Island Garden Club
- Traditional southeast asian lunch will be served after the buddhist ceremony
- Clothing is more casual, No suits, ties or formal gowns. What you would wear to church.
- It is a joining of the families and more secular than religious.
- Ceremony should take place before noon to bring good luck and fortune to the new couple
- Shoes should not be worn on the wedding mat
- The soles of the feet are considered dirty. Never point or show the bottom of your feet towards an elder or a buddhist monk. Have them off to the side of your body or tucked under your body while seated.
- Do not touch any adults' head. It is considered sacred.
- Modesty of one's body is expected for both men and women. Clothing should be at or below the knee.
- Do not talk during the ceremony, chanting, blessing.